TK?

Ever heard of TK? If you are not from Charlotte, probably not. It's transitional kindergarten. There are many reasons for a child to go....academic, emotional, social, maybe a birthday falls too late in the calendar year. I used to think it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. It's a big trend in South Charlotte. I still don't understand why it's so regional and not national, but it is. If you want to put your child in a private school in this area, chances are you'll be directed the TK route. I never cared to hear about it or thought twice about the possibility of it. So, I am writing this post for my own memory sake and to explain to family/friends....it's too much to go into in just passing conversation:)

So, Caroline is eligible for kindergarten in the fall. We just assumed that in September 2010, we would drop her off at Carmel Christian and we'd leave with the normal teared up eyes that most parents get when they drop their child off for the first day of kindergarten. I guess with all the buzz about TK in Charlotte, in the back of my mind I knew it was a possibility--especially since Caroline has a late birthday for consideration (April). Then came the parent/teacher conference for her preschool class. Yep. They said TK would definitely benefit our daughter (who we feel is a genius!!). I was mad. I was so mad. I remember coming out into the hall where two of my friends were watching my kids and theirs. Caroline, the girl who would benefit from TK, sat on the floor working a puzzle while the others were playing in the playhouse in the lobby. This is the same girl who is sounding out words already and the same girl who loves to do "homework" and art work. If my blood pressure would have been taken at that time, it would have been sky high. I called Roy, who was a lot more calm than I was. He listened to me go off and he agreed with me on some things but then suggested that TK wouldn't be so bad. I was adamant about it. Caroline was NOT going to go. We were not going to hold her back when academically speaking, she was ready. So, we decided to wait for her test scores to come in. Yes, that is another thing that they do here...test soon-to-be-kindergartners.

Meanwhile, I decided to pray. Bottom line, I wanted what was best for Caroline. I didn't want to push her towards something if she wasn't ready. I want her to succeed in what she does, I want her to be confident and a well-adjusted person. So, my prayer turned from "Lord, please let Caroline make it in to kindergarten" to "Lord, help us to make the right decision and help us to have a true peace. Help us to know what to do and let it be a clear decision".

I can't begin to tell you how neat it has been to have this peace from God. Slowly (and I mean slowly) my heart began to change towards TK. I spoke with families who had put their children in TK and heard about families who wished they had. That is the common phrase I heard through it all..."you'll never hear a parent say they wished they hadn't placed their child in TK, but you'll always hear parents say they wished they had". I received advise from teachers who said that TK makes a major difference in a student. I honestly never heard any negative comments towards it. So, again.....slowly, I began to see the benefits of the program and how an extra year of preschool would be beneficial for our Caroline.

The benefits? One more year to mature and grow before heading into school. This extra year (5 days a week) will include learning and play time. Plus, we get her home one more year and the plus to this for me is that I won't have to have her at school by a certain time. I can still be a few minutes late and it won't go against her record and I can still sleep in! No alarm clock wake ups for me for one more year! And, we can take her out for a few days at a time and it won't matter! Yes, those are selfish benefits, I know. People who have children who were in TK say the real benefit is long term when they get in middle and high school and are able to cope with situations. One lady told me that her daughter was able to handle relationships (boys and girls) so much better than her friends could. One other lady told me that her daughter was so advanced academically that she could balance school and social life very easily and highschool was a blast for her because of it. There was no forcing her to get her homework done, no pulling teeth to make deadlines. Leadership comes easier for them, too.

So, Roy and I met with the school admissions this week to discuss Caroline's kindergarten. They suggested TK. It wasn't her academic ability. She tested exactly where she should for her age...even at a 6 year old level in her letter recognition (thank you very much). She has a minor speech deficit that she is in therapy for. Caroline is also extremely tender/sensitive/gentle/shy. This is a girl who is constantly asking me "did I do a good job?" "Are you proud of me" and this is a girl who will spill her milk and cry and then says "Are you mad at me?!" She is slightly dramatic:) The admissions felt that she could do kindergarten, but if she did, she may be trying to keep up with the others the whole year. They agreed that she would do even better if she has that extra year to grow and mature. Roy and I both think that she will do even better once her speech clears up. Thinking about our sweet thing being teased breaks my heart. With all that she is (and she's a sweet, wonderful thing) she will be better because of TK and we know that in Fall 2011, we WILL walk her into Carmel Christian and we will be confident that she is confident and well-adjusted and ready to tackle anything.

I cannot begin to say what a peace that I have. The decision was SO easy. Why should I fight placing Caroline in kindergarten? Everything up until this point has pointed the opposite way. I was reminded the other day that nobody but God knows Caroline's future. Who knows what she will go through. Maybe this one year of grow time is what she'll need to face something. It just feels so good to know that we made this choice. Roy and I left the meeting so happy. He is excited to have her home one more year:) So, she will graduate from highschool at age 19. I was 19 when I was a sophomore in college. This still seems so strange to me, but I know in the long run it will not matter one single bit.

As we were leaving, the school admissions lady asked if Caroline was our only child. Roy and I looked at each other and smiled. "No", I replied. "We have a 2 year old boy who will definitely be needing TK!". Enough said.