...that I would be reading his classic, Bringing Up Boys, 11 years later with my mouth wide open believing it was written just for me.
A few months ago, I really believed that this boy was a special child:
Special meaning that he was the only one of his kind. One who would see something, climb it and then jump off it, be enticed by things like greasy car tires, tables, streets, toilets and sinks, flower pots, eat anything and everything off the floor (including grass fertilizer), constantly getting into things like drawers and the pantry...you get the drift. After reading the first chapter, which includes the characteristics of a toddler boy, I realized that our RoyBoy is 100% NORMAL!!!! Thank you, Jesus!! When I read this, I wanted to cry. A cry of relief. My boy isn't crazy or deranged. He's a boy!
There are so many points about this book that I could discuss. Let me just say, first of all, that it is a difficult book to get in to. It's full of statistics, facts, studies, numbers and dates. But there are so many good points and "aha" moments within. For example, Dr. Dobson says that mothers who grew up in families of all girls often have a difficult time with raising boys because they are not used to the ways of boys. DING DING DING!! That's me!! That's me!! Thank you for the reassurance, Dr. Dobson. I'm not a bad mom and I'm not crazy, after all! All of my bad thoughts, crying spells (I mean bawling spells where Roy was really starting to get worried about me) and me wanting to throw in the towel and pull out my hair have founded reasons!! I'm not the only mom in the world with a boy who goes non-stop, 24/7.
So, if you have a boy, regardless of the age, read this. It's full of great advice for raising them...especially when the age of adolescence comes into play. He also discusses the major importance of a strong father/son relationship. Dobson gives great insight on the mother/son relationship, too. He tells moms to "let go" of their sons when they become toddlers and let the dads take over (meaning for the sons to become little men and try to emulate their Daddies---supposing that they are good daddies to emulate). They still need to cuddle with Mommy but they need to adore their Daddies and follow them around. He gives great examples of mama's boys, mothers that are obsessed with their sons, and the reasoning behind this. I really enjoyed this chapter and learned a lot of what not to do in the future.
After reading this book and realizing the way God intended boys to be, it has honestly made me appreciate my sweet Roy Austin so much more and it has changed my thoughts on mothering my children. I now look at his antics with a smile. I still get frustrated when he has pumped hand soap all over the sink, and when he has dumped out his laundry basket for the umpteenth time of the day, and I still worry to death when he fearlessly climbs the playset in the backyard and then goes down the chain rope backwards, but I know that he is a normal, healthy boy. That makes me so happy.
Okay, I'll be quiet now. Just know that I have always admired James Dobson and Focus on the Family but now I really enjoy them. Did you know that you can upload his podcasts to your ipod? I do it from time to time and listen when I run or go on walks. It's very enjoyable and interesting. If you want to do that, click here.
11 comments:
I am do glad you feel some relief. Now will probably feel like you are a better mother--not that you were not a good mom before--but now it is like a burden has fallen from you back. (I'm laughing because I am imagining that movie Pilgrim's Progress when the burden falls off Pilgrim's back and rolls away.)
I need to reread that book. We will have to include that in our little switch-er-roo!
Love you!
Your post made me smile this morning, Donna. I'm so glad you read this book and found out that you are NOT a bad mother. Being raised in a family full of girls is so different than being raised with a boy or two, and knowing how they can be so different. We had lots of boy foster babies, but they were just that.....babies, and a boy baby isn't a little toddler boy who gets into everything.
I'm sure you'll have plenty more exasperating days and times with little RA, and the other little boys you may have, but at least you'll know that somewhere out there are many many more moms, just like you, who have little boys, just like Roy......and it's a good thing!!! I love you.
Yeh for James Dobson! i remember reading a book about marriage that he wrote and that Chuck Swindoll wrote and I thought .....Why doesn't my husband act like these men!!!!!! Oh well...Roy Austin will love having you for a mother and you are going to love having him for a son.....little boys love their moms and become very protective. I remember one time Franklin had been not so nice.....Roy was just a little thing and he looked at his daddy and said, "Daddy, You were ugly to my Mama and you need to tell her you sorry!"....Franklin smiled and said, "You are right Roy, let's got tell Mama we are sorry!" I looked at him and said......they didn't do anything to be sorry for.....and he just laughed! But my Roy wasn't going to let his daddy get by with being ugly to his mama!
I like this post Donnie. It also has me bracing myself seeing as the twin poll is tied for 1 boy, 1 girl and 2 boys. Yikes and I eveng grew up w/ two brothers! Maybe that was my prep work. You ARE a good momm and I sure love that Roy Boy of yours. He just cracks me up!
I agree Donna. I'm glad you read that book and got some peace of mind from it. You are doing fine as a mother. Boys and girls are just so different. The boys will do something right in front of your face and then get in trouble for it and it's over. Not so with girls...oh, the emotion and hanging on to things! Jane is right...RA will be very protective of you and that's a great thing!
As for Dr. Dobson...I love listening to his show. Remember when mom would pick us up from school and we would hear "preaching" on the radio. Well...I'm there! I am living the life of Dr. Dobson, Chuck Swindoll, and anyone else WRVL happens to be playing during the day. It's just such an encouragement. I know...I'm "grown up" (I would say old but don't want to hurt feelings).
Keep up the good work!
By the way, Donna....you NEVER cease to amaze me by your extraodinary (sp?) organizational skills. You always seem to have just the right picture....filed away in your mind somewhere, and you know where to find it in your picture albums. I didn't remember you having your picture made with James Dobson. I guess it's when we made that trip to Colorado,huh? Anyway, you're really special. ILY
I am laughing at your mom's post, because I was wondering myself...how do you always have the right picture at the right time? Its like you snap your fingers and bedazzle...there you are with Jimmy D.
You and Roy Austin are going to have a very special relationship. He is gonna grow up and be a great protector of his Momma!
That photograph with Dr. Dobson is lovely and the one of your precious RA. I will have to read that book. It is funny that since I only have sons I don't think I would know what to do with little girls. God knows exactly what we need and it is exciting to see your two wonderful blessings grow and become all God intended them to be.
Thank you for sharing about that book. I will give it a read.
Love to you.
I am glad you are feeling better about mothering a boy. I completely agree with you - raising a boy is strange when you were raised with girls (3rd of 3 here). What they do is normal it's just that we're not used to it!!
You are a loving mother to both Caroline and Roy Austin - Thanks for this post today!!
I'm catching up on your posts but laughing at the pic of you and James D. You thought you were really big stuff huh? I have a pic of me and him somewhere but I'm not as organized as you are. I'll have to find it but I'm afraid I look a lot worse than your pic.
I will start reading this book soon. I've loved hearing your review on it and the things I have to look forward to. You're an incredible mommy. I just hope to be an inkling like you! :)
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