I have always heard that when a family goes from 2 to 3 kids, it's a piece of cake. Just add on the kids, one more doesn't matter. My first two were pieces of cake. It was no problem at all when we brought them home from the hospital and resumed life. I used to roll my eyes when moms complained about how hard motherhood was, how difficult it was to function with everyday tasks. Well, I don't mind saying that this time was no piece of cake for me.
It wasn't Charlotte--she's a great baby. I used to say we bought Caroline at Target because she was so good, well we must have custom ordered Charlotte because she is GREAT--good sleeper, eater, goes with the flow...just an angel. The two older blessings were what got me and Graham Central Station was pure chaos for a few weeks. Seriously, the first two and a half weeks home from the hospital were miserable for me. Maybe that's a little dramatic to say, but it was definitely hard. I cried like I've never cried before. I was sad that I wasn't pregnant any more, sad about the "anti-climatic-ness" about the whole delivery/hospital stay/coming home, sad about how crazy and out of character the kids were being. I couldn't comprehend how I was going to function with three kids. How would I keep my house clean? How would the laundry get done? How would I be able to help Caroline practice her piano? How would I spend equal times with all my children and have room for Roy and things I wanted to do. I thought about so many moms during this time---my sister Denise who, when she had her 5th baby, had a 1 year old at home as well, and had to drive her kids to school an hour away each day. I thought about Jennifer and Hannah and how they had TWINS!!! I thought about my friend, Jessica, who had her third baby during the time her husband was commuting an hour plus to work and back each morning and night. AND she taught violin lessons during this time!!! I kept thinking "if they did it, I can". And I'm happy to say that I've made it! Seriously, last week was the first week I felt like Donna again. It was like a sudden light switch that flipped and my new normal was do-able for me! Three kids? No problem. I can do it. The laundry may not be done some days and my house may not be spotless, which is the hardest thing for me to come to terms with, but we are all happy here finally. And thank you, Lord, for T-K!! That was one of the best decisions Roy and I have ever made!! It has helped so much during this transitional time in our lives.
I can't believe it's been four weeks since we welcomed our sweet Charlotte McCue-tie Pie, as we sometimes call her. I also jokingly call her "the Forgotten One" because she is so quiet and does a lot of sitting in the bouncy seat. RoyBoy and Caroline L-O-V-E her...especially RoyBoy. The other day she was crying and I heard him say, "I know, I know. It's okay, Shawwet. Buddy's here". He touches her head so gently when he comes near her and always offers her his blankie:) The other night I got up to feed her around 12:30 and there laying outside of her bedroom door on the floor was the Budster. He was all sprawled out with his blankie and favorite pillow and right next to his head was a big picture of him and Charlotte that I had printed off for him! I wanted to get a picture, but my camera was in the car.
Here are some pictures from Halloween. The kids picked who they wanted to be this summer and so we added Charlotte as "Bullseye the horse":
This picture makes me laugh. Every Halloween, we have luminaries lining our driveway. Roy was lighting them and Roy Austin was going behind him blowing out the candles. I looked over and saw Caroline giving him a lecture about how he shouldn't do that (check out her hands!):
Oh, and I copied Jennifer and had a photographer come to the hospital to take newborn shots of Charlotte when she was a day old. They are great and I will upload them soon!
11 comments:
How is it possible that I'm the first to comment?
Oh my, I can so relate to this post and can remember those first weeks (ok, months for me)after I brought the twins home. It was literally like someone had just snatched my old life away and threw me into some crazy new life that I hated (I know that sounds horrible, but I craved my old, simple, easy life back). I'm sure anyone with kids can relate to what you felt and probably would think you were lying if you said everything was just perfect. HA! In fact, I'm literally getting that overwhelming feeling again just writing this...yuck.
So glad you're out of the fog and feeling like the Donna we all know and love. Oh, and seriously, the story of RA sleeping outside Charlotte's room is just precious...even had their picture...so sweet.
And by the way, you're not copying me with the pictures. I just happened to have a photographer friend who told me she was coming to the hospital and taking pics and I said ok. I never would have thought of that on my own but sure glad she did.
I love the story about Roy trying to comfort his little sister when she was crying. He really does love her. And sleeping by her door....nothing could be sweeter than that.
I'm so glad you're somewhat back to your old self again. It does take time, but it happens eventually. I'm proud of you, Honey. Thanks for that nice, truthful, revealing post. You're a wonderful mom!!!
Oh man! I know I only had one but reading your thoughts and feelings gave me that feeling back when I first had MIchael. I'm getting nervous about adding two now! I don't know how some of those moms did it either but they did get through it and I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling good now. You really bounced back fast. I would probably still be stuck in the rut of finding my routine, etc. Keep telling yourself, "children are a blessing from the Lord." hahah! You've got some sweet kids! ILY
We all go through what you did.....some of it exhaustion, hormones, and some of it just so much to do....We all make it one way or another. Everytime I got pregnant I remember thinking....I hardly made it with one...how am I going to do it with two. Then I hardly made it with two how am I going to make it with three? On and on! Of course my house was never as clean and nice as yours!!!! Never a moment to myself seemed to exhaust me so I would try and stay up late and have a few moments and then I would pay for it the next day.....That story about Roy Austin sleeping outside the door blesses my heart....so sweet that boy. Tender and sweet boy that one! He and Caroline are sweet older siblings! You are doing a great job!
I am finally getting to read you post and comment. It has been crazy here.
Donna I know you are doing just fine. It just takes a few days...weeks to get on a new routine and once you get it, like you said--piece of cake!
Charlotte is ADORABLE!!!! And the story of RA sleeping by her door is the sweetest thing. You have a sweet family Donna! I am so happy for you!
Oh, and cute Halloween pictures! I can just hear Caroline talking to RA now, about blowing out the bags---which BY THE WAY---who is the one on the ball with putting out Halloween decorations??? YOU!!!
Motherhood IS hard. It is very hard. Even when you have "good" babies. It is a tough job that does not end, but (as we all know) it is so rewarding. And the benefits are awesome. :o) I just went from one to two kids three months ago, and I am still adjusting.
Sweet Donna,
How blessed your children and Roy are to have you! Not many women who have just had their 3rd baby are worried about doing right by ANYONE but THEMSELVES!
I still remember how hard it was to bring #3 home! (and she is 11!!) But somehow you make it through and things (dare I say) become a little easier. I still struggle with the fact that Lindsay still needs me so much (like next week when we go to Lynchburg and leave Anna and Lindsay here...oh what an undertaking to get everything ready for someone else to TRY to do what I do) but, I DO feel like I have survived the worst of it!
Enjoy these precious days with your little ones, they fly by and then your little ones are in college all the way across the country! {I promise you, it seems like YESTERDAY that Shae was Caroline's age!}
It is SO hard to get the little daily things done the way you really want to, but relax on some things and focus on the ones that really matter. ( Chick-fil-A once a week never killed anybody! :)
You have a beautiful family...and you are a beautiful Mama!! Congratulations and I will be praying for you!
I cannot wait to see the new born pictures you had taken!!!
I only have 2 kids, but can totally relate to everything you descibed and remeber feeling the same way and crying so much the first few weeks after Colton came along. I love your honesty. :)
Your kids look adorable in thier costumes!!! You always have such cute costumes. And the story about Roy sleeping outside Charlotte's door is precious.
Cant wait to see your professional pictures from the hospital.
Donna, that was so sweet to read about Roy Austin laying outside of Charlotte's door with the picture - it brought tears to my eyes. Wow - what wonderful costumes for all three of them!! Your front door looked great as always too!
Thank you Donna for this great update!
I laughed so hard seeing the picture of roy boy and caroline, her lecturing him about blowing out the candles. We had the same thing. Brody always blows out the candles. Drives me nuts. I guess he will be a fire marshal or something.
Your feelings are so normal! I remember all the guilt I had adding a 2nd. Now I will neglect T, M will never get as much attention as I gave T, I have ruined everything. There is a huge adjustment time with a change of that magnitude. I tell new moms to give it 3 months, then the funk & haze will lift & life can be resumed. I think you've bounced back amazingly fast & it gives me hope as I have my third in June! I only wish that my house would look as clean as yours, if only for a day.
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