Wrong Side of the Tracks

Yesterday I had a dental appointment to get a filling replaced. I had Roy meet me at the office to watch the kids during my appointment. Well, as always, the office was running behind schedule and I had one more issue in my mouth than they thought, so I was there for 2 hours! It was a beautiful day, so Roy took the kids next door to play at a nice park. I felt bad because he took the time off of work to help me. When I met up with him, he suggested we go out for lunch since it was that time. Roy Austin was already 30 minutes off of his lunch schedule and I knew he wouldn't make it through lunch without being fussy, but Roy said he would go to a Harris Teeter, also down the street, and pick up some baby food while I went to Panera and ordered our lunch. I was hesitant to agree, but then realized I hadn't been to the grocery store and we had nothing at home to eat.



My dentist's office is located near uptown Charlotte. The Panera is located right near the dentist, which means it's uptown, too. Now to understand this area of Charlotte, you have to know it. This is the "high-class" section. Old money, historical area, Duke Mansion right across the street. You get the picture. The kids and I parked in the crazy, too small of a parking lot. Once I took Caroline out of her carseat--while balancing Roy Austin in his car seat on my left arm and trying not to knock the car door next to me--she decided that she didn't want to go to Panera. So, from our car into the restaurant she cried, "I don't want to go to America! I don't want to go to America!" (this is what she calls Panera). Apparently she was under the impression that we were going to get pizza somewhere. So I calmed her down and ordered her chocolate milk and the rest of our food. Oh, yeah, and at this time she's also telling me to "hold you" through her sniffles and tears. This particular Panera is the busiest one I've ever been to. Remember, it's noon in uptown Charlotte. Big mistake. I take my circus act into the first dining area--which is packed--with rich old ladies having their weekly chat sessions, businessmen having lunch meetings, doctors in their scrubs, other business people on their computers, etc. I spot an empty table, while balancing the car seat with a fussy baby in it and maneuvering around tables. We get situated and then Roy Austin decides he is hungry and starts the "you've waited too long to feed me" cry. At the same time, Caroline decided that she doesn't want to sit across from me but beside me. She gets off her chair and wipes out right on the floor at the foot of a power suit. She SCREAMS and the man in the suit stops his chatting to stare at her and then me. So, I stopped trying to get Roy Austin out of his carseat and tended to Caroline...still sprawled out on the floor on her belly screaming. Roy Austin is still crying, too, so I'm trying to shush them both. It seemed to me that the whole dining room was still and watching me, but I'm sure they weren't, although I did have quite a few heads turn to look at us. I'm sure they were looking at me, a sweet little housewife with a pony tail who obviously has her hands full. Why is she out with two kids at THIS Panera? This whole time I'm thinking, "WHERE IS ROY?! COME ON!! I NEED HELP!!" Finally I see his familiar face come around the corner with a Harris Teeter bag. I couldn't open the baby food fast enough as I told him about our situation and told him that I'm never going out to lunch again with a baby who doesn't eat table food and who is off schedule. I'm joking now, but at the time, I was serious! I shoved 2 stage 2's in my hungry boy's mouth only to have him still act hungry. I was hungry and my turkey artichoke panini was just sitting there, so vulnerable, waiting for me to devour it. So I had to pick the baby up and pat his back only to have him spew carrots and bananas all over my left arm. Ughhh. I just starred at Roy. I know people were analyzing our family, thinking the worse. "Awww. Look at that cute little family. They've ventured out to our part of town today. Don't they realize that they are the only ones with children in here? Poor things." We received many turned heads from the business meeting going on next to our table. Roy took the baby for me so I could finish my meal, and when I looked up after a few bites, I saw bananas running down Roy's hand! All I could do was smile.

Looking back, it's funny and blog worthy, but at the time, I was the mother who grabs her children by the upper arm and whispers in their ears in a rough, tense voice with her jaw clenched, "stop it right now or I'll get out the spanking spoon!" It was so sweet of Roy to watch the kids for me and offer to take us to lunch. Next time, I'm going to suggest Chick-fil-a.